 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
| HomeDiscussion Groups General MotorcyclesHarleyYamahaSportbikesRacingOff-roadSnowmobilesTechnicalCountry Specific Australian GroupUK GroupClassic (UK Group)Related Topics CarsBoatsMore Topics ... |
Motorcycle Forum / Country Specific / UK Group / August 2007What would you have done?
f.cking bloody bollocks. SWMBO's beloved cat; Minton decided not to come home last night. Not wholly unusual, but not exactly the norm. Anyhoo, at 4.00am this morning despite shouting for him he still did not appear. Ho hum thought I, he's off doing cat stuff so wtf. Still no show at breakfast, SWMBO getting ready for work commands me to carry out a perimeter sweep of his known territory. As it was a lovely morning, why not? thought I. No luck at all. Various phone calls from SWMBO during the day for updates, nothing to report. At around 14:00hrs GMT I found the poor little chaps corpse. Under a bush he was, curled up like he was asleep. The fact that he was cold and stiff indicated that sleeping was not the case. So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back lawn and gave him a decent burial. SWMBO then phones for yet another update, so I have to tell her. She was somewhat miffed that I had done the funereals rather than waiting for her, and is now out on the piss with her workmates. Should I have kept the corpse for a mutual burial-fest or did I do right. I am sure I'll never know.  SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 > So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back lawn > and gave him a decent burial. > Should I have kept the corpse for a mutual burial-fest You didn't give her chance to say goodbye properly, and she may never let you forget. I'd have certainly had a gathering. SignatureKev "Kevin Stone" <newsaccount@hotpop.com> wrote in news:5jb5cbF3ou3f3U1 @mid.individual.net: >> So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back lawn >> and gave him a decent burial. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > I'd have certainly had a gathering. GYASB >"Kevin Stone" <newsaccount@hotpop.com> wrote in news:5jb5cbF3ou3f3U1 >@mid.individual.net: >>> Should I have kept the corpse for a mutual burial-fest >> I'd have certainly had a gathering. >GYASB f.cking right. Best thing to do is dig the f.cker up, microwave it and serve it to her, thinly sliced, on toast. SignaturePip: B12 > >"Kevin Stone" <newsaccount@hotpop.com> wrote in news:5jb5cbF3ou3f3U1 > > @mid.individual.net: [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > Best thing to do is dig the f.cker up, microwave it and serve it to > her, thinly sliced, on toast. What already, FFS man it won't ripen for a least a month. Don't forget the "sauce" SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 >What already, FFS man it won't ripen for a least a month. >Don't forget the "sauce" Were you thinking Kitten Tikka Masala or Chef's Special Sauce? SignatureGyp Change to dotcom to reply > > What already, FFS man it won't ripen for a least a month. > > Don't forget the "sauce" > > Were you thinking Kitten Tikka Masala or Chef's Special Sauce? Dunno, more the naturally occurring cat sauce that is bound to exude from his mouldering little corpse I guess. SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 > > So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back > > lawn and gave him a decent burial. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > I'd have certainly had a gathering. Thanks Kev, I feel a lot better for that. Now, would an exhumation appear tasteless? SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 >> > So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back >> > lawn and gave him a decent burial. [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > >Thanks Kev, I feel a lot better for that. Tell her about the Rainbow Bridge, I'm sure it'll make her feel better. <http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm> Signature-- Nick ICQ: 9235201 EMAIL & MSN: nickmooney@spamcop.net -- LOTR#4 SKOGA#8 DS#7 BOTAFOT#159 BOTM#2 FBOTY#06 PM#11 -- GSF600n www.bgn.me.uk - Drive until you lose the road > >> > So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back > >> > lawn and gave him a decent burial. [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > <http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm> Thanks for reminding me ! SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 >>> So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back >>> lawn and gave him a decent burial. [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Now, would an exhumation appear tasteless? I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. Yes it was dead Pip! I noticed but kept very quiet about the fact that at the chosen spot the ground was a bit loose. Well needles to say we now have two cats occupying the same grave so to speak. The grass should continue to grow well in that spot. Signature-- ZX10R in the correct colour. Triumph Sprint ST for long two up touring. http://sportstourer.org > I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. Feeling blue? SignatureBMW K1100LT 750SS CB400F CD250 CB125 SL125 GAGARPHOF#30 GHPOTHUF#1 BOTAFOT#60 ANORAK#06 YTC#3 BOF#30 WUSS#5 The bells, the bells..... >> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. > > Feeling blue? Revved the tits off it, probably. Signatureplatypus somewhere to go for the night >>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. >> >> Feeling blue? > >Revved the tits off it, probably. <tries to make a joke out of the number of nipples a cat has and fails> This Authentic MikeH Comedy Mojo must be off. Signature-Pip > >>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. > >> [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > This Authentic MikeH Comedy Mojo must be off. Remind me to tell you the tale of the small cat, the nipples, the butane, the pliers and a mistaken diagnosis of tick infestation next time I see you. SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 >> >>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. >> >> [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >butane, the pliers and a mistaken diagnosis of tick infestation next >time I see you. <wince> How can you mistake a nipple for a tick? SignatureColin Irvine YZF1000R BOF#33 BONY#34 COFF#06 BHaLC#5 http://www.colinandpat.co.uk > >> >>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. > >> >> [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > <wince> How can you mistake a nipple for a tick? Well... It happened in France about 10 years ago. SWMBO's sister and family were living in a small village, and a local stray kitten had taken a shine to my niece. My SIL was not impressed and ventured that the creature was minging and had ticks. So BIL and I decided to cure the unfortunate animal of these parasites. I grabbed it with my left hand, right hand poised with a pair of long nosed pliers whilst BIL liberally squirted butane over the poor things belly. Seeing a fat juicy tick I clamped on it with the pliers and tugged. The cat squealed, loudly. I then noticed that there were two, symettrical lines of "ticks" along the cats belly. Cue one very apologetic visiting uncle, one stunned niece and a very confused (and sore, not to mention highly flammable) feline. SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 and a mistaken diagnosis of tick infestation next > > > time I see you. > > [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > niece and a very confused (and sore, not to mention highly flammable) > feline. ROFL You utter, utter fuckwit. Classic. SignatureBMW K1100LT 750SS CB400F CD250 CB125 SL125 GAGARPHOF#30 GHPOTHUF#1 BOTAFOT#60 ANORAK#06 YTC#3 BOF#30 WUSS#5 The bells, the bells..... > and a mistaken diagnosis of tick infestation next > > > > time I see you. [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > > You utter, utter fuckwit. Classic. This was the same visit that I tried to protect their gate pillar from a reversing removal truck by putting my hand in the way. Cue my DIAABTCOD No. for that. Surely there must be a number for DIY Vettery? SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 > Surely there must be a number for DIY Vettery? Or fuckvettery, as in your case. SignatureRick NT650V (still) TWA#11 BREast#6 BOTAFOT#139 >> >> >>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. >> >> >> [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > niece and a very confused (and sore, not to mention highly flammable) > feline. I had the thought you were about to turn it into a dog. SignatureBeav VN 750 Zed 1000 OMF# 19 >> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. > > Feeling blue? I saw that after I posted it. DOH. Signature-- ZX10R in the correct colour. Triumph Sprint ST for long two up touring. http://sportstourer.org > I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. cooked it's goose had it? >> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. > > cooked it's goose had it? Cat pie anyone? Signature-- ZX10R in the correct colour. Triumph Sprint ST for long two up touring. http://sportstourer.org >>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. >> >> cooked it's goose had it? > >Cat pie anyone? Mike Harding used to tell the tale of when he was a lad, and the local butcher had upset his mum. He and his mates quartered the streets one Saturday morning until they found a dead moggie, took it into the crowded butcher's, slapped it on the counter and said loudly "And that's the last until we get paid!". SignatureColin Irvine YZF1000R BOF#33 BONY#34 COFF#06 BHaLC#5 http://www.colinandpat.co.uk >>>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. >>> [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > crowded butcher's, slapped it on the counter and said loudly "And > that's the last until we get paid!". Another tale that my father (z``l) told was that cats were going missing at an alarming rate in the shitho^H^H^Htown where we lived, until he led a raid on the local chinkie ..... D. Signaturedes | 'trop d'la balle, j'kiffe grave!' >>>>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. >>>> [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > an alarming rate in the shitho^H^H^Htown where we lived, until he led a > raid on the local chinkie ..... Probably (I'm being nice) utter bullshit. Why the f.ck would the owners of a chinese chippy bother roaming the streets looking for cats to cook when the profits on chicken based meals in a chippy are unbelievable in the first place? Have you ever seen the owner of a chinese chippy on his uppers, or do they invariable have have half a dozen cars on the drives of their 7 bedroom homes? SignatureBeav VN 750 Zed 1000 OMF# 19 > D. >>>>>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. >>>>> cooked it's goose had it? >>>>Cat pie anyone? >>> Mike Harding used to tell the tale of when he was a lad, and the local >>> butcher had upset his mum. He and his mates quartered the streets one >>> Saturday morning until they found a dead moggie, took it into the >>> crowded butcher's, slapped it on the counter and said loudly "And >>> that's the last until we get paid!". >> Another tale that my father (z``l) told was that cats were going missing >> at an alarming rate in the shitho^H^H^Htown where we lived, until he led >> a raid on the local chinkie ..... > Probably (I'm being nice) utter bullshit. > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > owner of a chinese chippy on his uppers, or do they invariable have have > half a dozen cars on the drives of their 7 bedroom homes? He wasn't a man given to hyperbole. I take after him in that respect. His last evaluation from his Chief-Super was, 'a steady, phlegmatic temperament'. Anyway, the chinkie _was_ closed: I remember the event well. And it was he who told us that he'd closed it with environmental health people. D. Signaturedes | 'trop d'la balle, j'kiffe grave!' >>>>>>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. > [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > He wasn't a man given to hyperbole. But he was an average bullshitter? >I take after him in that respect. I believe you've taken over from him, rather than after. >His > last evaluation from his Chief-Super was, 'a steady, phlegmatic > temperament'. <Crichton mode ON> Mmm, how interesting <Chrichton mode OFF> > Anyway, the chinkie _was_ closed: I remember the event well. Our local Chinese is closed too, but it always is on a Tuesday . >And it was he > who told us that he'd closed it with environmental health people. You'll believe anything then. SignatureBeav VN 750 Zed 1000 OMF# 19 >>>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. >>> [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > crowded butcher's, slapped it on the counter and said loudly "And > that's the last until we get paid!". I *do* like Mike Harding.. What Ivor Biggun would have been like if he had been born in that neck of the woods. JB >>>>> I've just berried one of our cats in the garden. >>>> [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > >I *do* like Mike Harding.. I got him totally ratarsed once backstage .. "Hey Mike - we've got a pub which doesn't close, are you interested ?" A really good folk night / morning that was Them were the days ,'appen Signaturegeoff >>> So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back >>> lawn and gave him a decent burial. [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Now, would an exhumation appear tasteless? Have you read Pet Cemetery ? SignatureCheerz - Brownz http://www.brownz.org/ > > > > So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back > > > > lawn and gave him a decent burial. [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > Have you read Pet Cemetery ? I've seen the film SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 > >>> So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back > >>> lawn and gave him a decent burial. [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > Have you read Pet Cemetery ? Sematary, IIRC. SignatureBMW K1100LT 750SS CB400F CD250 CB125 SL125 GAGARPHOF#30 GHPOTHUF#1 BOTAFOT#60 ANORAK#06 YTC#3 BOF#30 WUSS#5 The bells, the bells..... >> Have you read Pet Cemetery ? > > Sematary, IIRC. Would you read a book with a misspelled title? SignatureEiron. > >> Have you read Pet Cemetery ? > > > > Sematary, IIRC. > > Would you read a book with a misspelled title? I read your threads, don't I? SignatureBMW K1100LT 750SS CB400F CD250 CB125 SL125 GAGARPHOF#30 GHPOTHUF#1 BOTAFOT#60 ANORAK#06 YTC#3 BOF#30 WUSS#5 The bells, the bells..... >>> Have you read Pet Cemetery ? >> >> Sematary, IIRC. > > Would you read a book with a misspelled title? I know someone who read David Seaman's autobiography thinking it may contain pron. SignatureBeav VN 750 Zed 1000 OMF# 19 >>>>> So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back >>>>> lawn and gave him a decent burial. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Sematary, IIRC. Bovvered ? (Stupid MereCans) SignatureCheerz - Brownz Beta TR34 (Ring ding ding ding pop pop) http://www.brownz.org/ > SWMBO's beloved cat; Minton decided not to come home last night. > Not wholly unusual, but not exactly the norm. I thought you were going to say the neighbours had had a strange smelling curry yesterday. Alan. SignatureTo reply by e-mail, change the ' + ' to 'plus'. > > SWMBO's beloved cat; Minton decided not to come home last night. > > Not wholly unusual, but not exactly the norm. > > I thought you were going to say the neighbours had had a strange > smelling curry yesterday. That was my greatest fear. Had he ventured into their compound and been caught I have no doubt they would have done dispacable things to him. Luckily his demise appears to not be connected to that shower of filth. SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember "Dan L" <dan.yodanet@gmail.com> saying something like: >> I thought you were going to say the neighbours had had a strange >> smelling curry yesterday. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > >Luckily his demise appears to not be connected to that shower of filth. Hmmm... strikes me they're the kind of c.nts who would put poisoned bait down. SignatureDave GS850x2 XS650 SE6a Teach a man to fish and he and his pikey mates will have the river cleaned out in a day. > We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the > drugs began to take hold. I remember "Dan L" <dan.yodanet@gmail.com> [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Hmmm... strikes me they're the kind of c.nts who would put poisoned > bait down. Oh thank you very bloody much. A cat based conspiracy theory involving the defendants [1], that's all I need. <hides thread> [1] the correct descriptive term for them. SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 > SWMBO ... was somewhat miffed > > I am sure I'll never know. She's a woman (in case you hadn't noticed). Therefore anything that you do will be wrong, even if it's to ask her what she'd like you to do, because you should simply *know*. SignatureRick NT650V TWA#11 BREast#6 BOTAFOT#139 > > SWMBO ... was somewhat miffed > > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Therefore anything that you do will be wrong, even if it's to ask her > what she'd like you to do, because you should simply know. Heh, I'd forgotten that you'd met her. Nicely summed up SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 > So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back lawn > and gave him a decent burial. What, no gloves? SignatureBMW K1100LT 750SS CB400F CD250 CB125 SL125 GAGARPHOF#30 GHPOTHUF#1 BOTAFOT#60 ANORAK#06 YTC#3 BOF#30 WUSS#5 The bells, the bells..... > > So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back > > lawn and gave him a decent burial. > > What, no gloves? No, or a Davy Crockett stylee hat either. He was not a particularly large cat. SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 > SWMBO then phones for yet another update, so I have to tell her. She > was somewhat miffed that I had done the funereals rather than waiting > for her, and is now out on the piss with her workmates. Give her a slap. SignaturePaul. CBR1100XX SuperBlackbird (Buen mueble de patio) And a pushbike of some sort. BOTAFOT #4 BOTAFOF #30 MRO #24 OMF #15 UKRMMA #30 > f.cking bloody bollocks. > [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > Should I have kept the corpse for a mutual burial-fest or did I do > right. You should've just eaten it all yourself and told her you weren't bothered with dinner and then told her to enjoy her noght out with the tarts SignatureBeav VN 750 Zed 1000 OMF# 19 >So, I brought his rigid little body home, dug a hole in the back lawn >and gave him a decent burial. > >SWMBO then phones for yet another update, so I have to tell her. You mean you did not phone her but waited for her to phone you? Grasshopper, you have much to learn. Signaturegomez Honda TransAlp,KTM 640LC Enduro (For Sale) (not is not to reply) "The best tool for the job is the hammer thats nearest to hand" > Should I have kept the corpse for a mutual burial-fest or did I do > right. > > I am sure I'll never know. You can't be *so* new to this marriage lark, shirley? No matter what you did it would have been wrong! SignatureRob_P UKRM(at)indqualtec.co.uk uppercase(d) BBIWYMC#1 BOG#11? MRO#31 IBCDBBB#1(kotl) FJ1200, (in bits) CCM130 (need sharpening) Atonal apples and amplified heat available now! > > Should I have kept the corpse for a mutual burial-fest or did I do > > right. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > No matter what you did it would have been wrong! *ding* Is the right answer SignatureDan L dan.yodanet@gmail.com http://thebikeshed.spaces.live.com/ 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005/6/7) X-FOT#000 DIAABTCOD #26 BOMB#18 (slow) OMF#11 > f.cking bloody bollocks. > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Anyhoo, at 4.00am this morning despite shouting for him he still did > not appear. Ho hum thought I, he's off doing cat stuff so wtf. I bet your neighbours love you. > Still no show at breakfast, SWMBO getting ready for work commands me to > carry out a perimeter sweep of his known territory. As it was a lovely [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > Should I have kept the corpse for a mutual burial-fest or did I do > right. I'd have just shoved it in a hole. I'd reckon she'd only have gotten more upset at seeing the corpse. |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2009 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.